The deal

OK...

Went to the Doc's this morning as I mentioned. Was feeling pretty good about it. Was feeling even better when I walked into his office and looked at me with raised eyebrows and said " Hey you are really losing weight huh?".

We chatted about that and how that was going for a while, and then the time came for the BP check.

210/111

Let me say that again

210/111

First reaction was fear. A kind of deep in the stomach primal fear. I think I tapped into something ancient in my psyche. I imagine that this is what our barely erect fore-fathers felt when they were faced with a true fight or flight scenario. That feeling quickly turned to bewilderment. I mean, I was doing it wasn't I? I was losing the weight, getting the exercise, sticking to the low fat low sodium diet, drinking my water? All the things I was supposed to do to correct the BP. I mean I certainly didn't expect to go from elevated to normal in the space of a month, but goddammit I certainly expected to be moving in that direction, NOT the other way. The doc was equally not impressed, though I think he wasn't as bewildered as I was.

So, where from there? Well, meds, I am on 25 mgs once daily of NOVO-HYDRAZIDE. I won't go into all the possible side affects here, google it if you are interested. However, I did have to leave work early today because I was starting to feel a little disjointed. I'm not tooooo bad right now, obviously, I mean I am typing and making sense, well, as much as I eve have anyway. I do have a long drive home though, so I figured I wouldn't take any risks at all and not be able to drive later.

No gym, sadly, that really hurts more than I thought it would. I'm ready for it, I am actually burning for it, but it's just not a risk I can take. Can you imagine doing a squat or a leg press with a BP of 210/111?? Mt. Etna mean anything to any of you?

No strenuous activity for a while, just walking at a moderate pace. It's not much, but it will have to do the job for now.

I also now have a home BP monitor. I have to take my BP thrice daily and in a week I go back to the docs and we review the numbers. If it isn't down, then there will be yet another medication on top of the current one, the same applies in 2 weeks.

SO, I know I have been asked several times what caused this. The short answer is the ugly one, I am a fat lethargic 38 year old who wasn't taking care of business the way it should have been attended to. I commit ed a crime against my body and my family and I have been sentenced to this. There are some genetics in play, but the long and short of it is that it is 100% my fault. Not going to whine or bemoan it, I AM going to fix it.

As of today there will be another addition to my daily blogs, my BP readings. I take my last one at bedtime, so I will post a short blog each night with the 3 BP readings from that day. This is another tool of accountability, but it will also hopefully show a dropping number and serve as a warning, and a kick in the ass, to the large percentage of the male middle ago population out there who like me, are fat, lethargic and marching blissfully towards a very early grave.

Wake up folks, wake up before you don't wake up anymore....

Monday Mass Day 3

Quickie, on my way to work, be back later with pics to post.

Modest weight loss for this week, well, that's what the scales said anyway. Down about a pound, maybe a pound and a half.

SOoooo...

August 25th Start weight ??? - we figure anywhere from 310-320
Sept 8th - 301 lbs
Sept 15th - 297 lbs
Sept 22nd - 296 lbs - change of -1 lbs, 95 to goal

Sunday stuff

Not much to blog about today, but figured I would make an appearance.

Yesterday was kind of a blahish type day. No, I shouldn't say that, it was a great day actually. Dee had a bridal shower and myself and the two wee fellas spent the afternoon cruising around. It was a blahish type day from a meal persepctive. As I mentioned, Dee had this bridal shower. She ended up bringing home a bunch of leftover sandwichs and cookies and cake. I stayed away from the cookies and cake, but did end up eating around 2 sandwichs. For whatever reason, I thought I would end up well over my caloric intake.... complete opposite actually... which ticks me off even more.

Oh well...

Hey guess what? Tuesday I go to the Doc, and will either be ok with the BP or not, and on meds, either way, this is the week I should be able to start at the gym...

YAY!!!

Other blogs and more bric-brac

You know, I love blogging, One of the things I like about blogging is interacting with the people who not only read MY blog, but actively going out there and finding other blogs that are on the same topic as mine. One thing that has really saddened me, as well as reminding me of my own lapse, it the number of blogs that just end. Usually these blogs have one last entry that talks about slipping, or going off plan, with promises made to get back on track, and then nothing. Some of them have ended a month or so ago, some a year or more. It makes me wonder where these people are now, what their story is, if they are continuing their own personal journeys or if the wheels just fell off all together. I even wrote a couple of them, asking those very questions and sadly, no responses.

If you are one of those people, if by chance you followed the e-mail link back to this blog. I want you to know that all is not lost, you can start up again, a lapse can be just that, a lapse and you CAN get it back on course. If you want, I can help, and you can help me. Obesity and food addiction are serious illnesses, and it can make the effort to overcome them easier if you have a large support group there to prop you up.

Now, in my travels through the WWW looking for weight loss blogs I stumbled upon a blog that frankly made me very very angry, a little sad, a little disgusted, a little perplexed and a bunch of other emotions all at once. I don't have the link to the blog, but I can find it again, if you want it let me know. I don't want to post the link here because I don't want to be a source of more visitors for this blog. The blog is basically just pictures. Pictures of people, mostly women, suffering from Anorexia. Now, the pictures themselves are powerful, in a punch in the stomach kinda way, and really, everyone should look at pictures like these. They serve as a strong visual reminding us of the horrible wasting this terrible affliction can inflect on a body. I want to make one thing absolutely clear. I am NOT disgusted or angry or anything other than sympathetic towards the people who have this affliction. I have a person in my life who suffered from anorexia. They are on the mend thank you very much for asking and I couldn't be prouder of them. No, my chagrin is targeted squarely on the shoulders of the people out there who ENCOURAGE people with this disease to loss ever MORE weight.

Honestly, comments on the pictures of these wasted bodies, bones protruding, skin tight, just haunted looking women, comments saying beautiful, or sexy or amazing and even more stunning, comments saying that they would be perfect with just a little more weight gone, another 5 lbs and they would be perfect, another 10 lbs and they would be a goddess. You ignorant, thoughtless, enabling, PRICKS.... it's like opening a bar tab for an alcoholic and then driving them to the bar, come on people, get a friggin' clue!! Unreal... just unreal...

Makes me sick...

sigh...

Shifting gears. Dee and I watched a great show last night. It was on W channel on Rogers, but is a Channel 4 creation. Channel 4 is the British channel that launched Gordon Ramsey's TV career.... its called Super Size vs. Super Skinny, the basic premise is simple, you take a morbidly obese person, and team them up with a very very skinny person and have them live the others life for a period of time. Diets, exercise, everything. It was pretty interesting and entertaining to watch. What I found most interesting, at least in the episode I watched last night, was that the skinny person had a MUCH harder time adjusting than the Super Sized person. At the end both took some valuable lessons out of the exercise, and I am happy to report that they both are living a healthier life now. Brit shows are always so much better than US shows... but that's a whole other blog for a whole other time.

On the progress front. Dee and Gabe had Mary Browns tonight for supper, for those of you who don't know, that's like KFC, only better. The smell damn near killed me. I am happy to report however that I made it through and I just grilled a couple of chicken breasts for myself. They were awesome as well, though without the yummy coating and oh so delicious grease.... lol...

Hopefully gym next week, really am chomping at the bit now.... bring it on!

Odds and Ends

A couple of quick points before I go to bed.

My calories need to increase. Yes yes, i sound like a broken record, but its 100% true, they do need to get bumped. I also need to increase my protein intake. So, the solution to both problems? Returning to my nightly protein shake. I love those things and I am actually looking very forward to having them again. There was a time I would come home from work and be craving that smoothie, that time has come again. Yay for protein!!

Also, its become clear that I have to start taking a multi-vitamin. I knew that anyway but it was affirmed by what I have been seeing on my Fitday journal. I was looking at some tonight and I think I am just going to go with a typical Mans Multi. Once I start in the gym I will also be back to taking the creatine and glutamine and very likely glucosamine. My shoulder has really been bugging my lately, calcification of the joint was suspected but seems its just age and wear and tear. I have to be careful about that. I also expect to be in the gym sooner than I had originally speculated. I am really feeling that good about where I am now and where I feel I can be in a short time. Amazing...

I wanted to also say how much easier this has been with the support of my wife. When I last did this I had a lot of support from friends and family, but this time it feels different. To have someone to talk to this stuff about every day, to help remind me to make my entries and the encourage me... it makes it so much easier to stay focused and on target.

Well, I think thats about it for now. Thanks for dropping by!