Showing posts with label shame. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shame. Show all posts

Monday, September 8, 2008

There's eye openers, then there eye SHOCKERS!

Well...

Ahem...

So, we bought a new scale. I was in error, I was not 285 as I thought, but in actuality I must have been around 310-15 or so. I know I have lost weight in the past two weeks, I can tell, Dee can tell.... so I figure 310-15 is a good guess. I don't need to guess anymore though... nope... I am a svelte and trim 301 lbs.... hey, that's not bad, it's only heaver than a new born elephant, or a year old cow, or 3 Andy Dicks...

All joking aside... I'm not floored anymore, I am getting used to the shocks that keep assaulting me in regards to my weight, health and appearance. I am once again struck though by how damn easy it is to fool yourself into thinking you are something you obviously aren't, and trust me, it was VERY VERY easy.

So, 301 lbs ( important to get that 1 lb in there ), only 121 to go, thats 10 lbs a month, 2.5 lbs a week and exactly 365 from today I will be a totally different baby elephant, I mean, MAN... yeah...

I am joking because I know I can and will do this, it will have ups and downs, peaks and valleys, but in the end the changes will be made and the transformation will be dramatic, this I promise you. I can further promise that in 730 days from now I will look even better as my promise to myself to be in better shape at 40 than 20 will come to fruition.

Now, on to the very very ugly... the pics.... please folks.... not for the weak..



Pretty bad huh? I was kinda floored by these pics. Again, at the risk of sounding like a broken record here, I had NO idea that I was this bad. Again, I knew I was bad, but this bad... nahhhh... Well, yes, it IS this bad. It will NEVER EVER be this bad again.

Now that I have these done and posted, I am taking great comfort in knowing that the next ones will be better, and the ones after that, and the ones after that and so on and so on... Time to skin this pelt!

Monday Mass Day

Well, I just saw that a friend of mine was vrey very brave and posted starting pics of herself, it takes a lot of guts to post pics when you aren't in the least bit happy about them. It called bearing yourself to the world and it was a step I frankly was NOT prepared to make, I'm a coward yes I know...

BUT... cowardice be damned, I need to be accountable for the actions I took that made me lapse into this horrible costume I am currently wearing. I call it a costume because this isn't the real me. It might be the me that I was for 90% of my adult life, but that dosen't make it who I am.

So, tonight there will be pics... they won't be pretty, they may be shocking, they may induce mild tremors and other such afflications in the weak hearted amongst you... but they will be here and I will be accountable...

I have also decided that every Monday will be Mass day....

Whats this means is that Monday is the day I will weigh myself and put it out there for all to judge. I will also do updated pics every Monday and those too will be posted for all to judge. I can promise you this, they will never be as scary again as they will be when I start, unless of course I decide to wear a leopard skin thong... no... that won't happen...lol....

So check back later tonight for the big unviel.. it's gonna be... well... big...

Friday, September 5, 2008

A holy shit moment...

There's not really much to say... I was riding such a high and now I just want to crawl away and sob...

Starting taking my measurements, was going to do the whole gambit... from neck down to calves and all points in between but I just stopped when I had a few... no point in taking smaller measurements when the bigger ones paint an obvious story... once I lose some inches in the core I'll take them elsewhere...

For now, here's the awful awful truth...

Neck - 17
Chest - 55
Abdomen - 53
Hips - 51

Pictures will be coming at a later date, I've taken as much visual truth as I can for a couple of days.

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